It's a funny thing that happens when all of the sudden something you've been trying NOT to do becomes your biggest goal. In bed this morning, wondering if my first pee would yield a positive result, I realized the irony. Until a month ago, if someone asked me if I might be pregnant I would most certainly respond, "I hope not."
It's not just the perfectionist in me, I wanted a plus sign because the plus sign meant GOT BABY. It meant that in a little while, when I get up to go to the grocery store, I would not be going by myself. It meant that with MJC away on a business trip, I would technically not be home alone. I watched my future self hugging him goodbye on the curb and then telling him, "We'll miss you!" and we would hug and laugh and I'd go back to work tomorrow with a little secret and he'd be off to NY with an unerasable grin.
Oh well. A straight line means did not get baby. I mean, a baby this month would probably be a little scrambled anyway so that is a good thing. I was just really hoping.
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1 comment:
That's how I felt upon taking my first negative prego test. I know just what you mean! Don't worry, you'll probably be prego next month! Also, hurty boobs/nipples was one of my first signs. And hurty arms, and a wildly off-the-charts appetite for cookies. Your first symptoms may be different.
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