Happy New Year!

It sounds dramatic to say that this last year was a bad year but it actually comforts me.  A subpoena to testify against a murderer, persistent acne,  a car accident (one for me and one for MJC), three ovarian cysts, a bridezilla, both Garbers passing, a tense election, a frightening economy, three of our four siblings and many of our friends losing their jobs, no possibility for raise or promotion, a nerve-wracking stalker weaving is way though the entire year, and a terrible flu that left me as sick as I've ever been for the last few weeks of 2008. Those are the facts and that sounds like a terrible year to me!

Dee always talks about a particular year, maybe 1992, that was a bad year for her. She can easily list at least 8 terrible things that happened in (maybe) 92 and she just chalks it up to a tough year. Lately, I've been thinking that 2008 was that year for me. 

Last night, Joe and I talked about what a tough year 08 was and we discussed how in both of our jobs, admitting a valley creates opportunity. If you recognize you are in a pit, you can start to get excited, because it means you are on your way out. That's how I was thinking about last night. If 2008 was my 1992, then 2009 might just be my best year ever!

Of course there were some good things from 2008 too - I learned a lot. 

First of all, I would be casting an inaccurate picture of the last year if I did not mention that I love being Mrs. Mikey. Although there were an awful lot of challenges, the person by my side the whole time made everything a little easier. He's lovely to me and I adore him. 

MJC and I are optimists at different times about different things. I tend to have more faith in people. He has more faith in "things just working out" and I'd rather wait to feel calm until I know something has worked out. 

Tracy always encourages me to see things the way MJC does because he is usually a) not wrong about things working out and b) he spends a lot less time worrying than I do.

There are two more things I learned from Tracy. 

Let your yeses be yeses and your nos be nos. 

I intend to follow this advice in 2009 and do more things I want to do and fewer things I feel obligated to or think I should do.

AND

Friends are for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. 

I've spent a lot of time in the last decade or so, mourning the loss

 of friendships that did not work out and people who did not like me, but it's a waste of time.

How would I possibly have time to keep in touch with every person I've ever known since I has in high school? I wouldn't. There are also some friends I grew out of along the way. I feel like recognizing that some of my expired friendships aren't gone

 because I did something wrong, but rather because maybe that person was seasonal (or reasonal for that matter), not a friendship meant for a lifetime.

If every friend and acquantance was meant to be in my life for a lifetime- how diluted would those friendships be? Plus, anywhere you went, it would look like you had the Cingular network behind you and that's just impractical.

I learned "You are who you walk with" from Barb. This simple sentence gives me a lot of comfort in the natural process of editing friendships and even more confidence in who I've surrounded myself with. It makes me look at my relationships as choices. When I look around at who I walk with it makes me feel good about myself. I have some terrific friends, and look at how pretty they are too!

I learned that thinking feelings is not the same as feeling feelings, if that makes sense. My

 passion is dimming and I want to find it again. I am happiest when I am creative. I like hosting and bringing people together; I like meeting new people and finding new friends; I like making things and doing projects; I like cooking and taking pictures.

I feel best about myself when I am generous - I like volunteering and listening and giving gifts and creating something from nothing in my closet even better than I like reporting for duty and talking and getting gifts and shopping away the money I want us to save for a house.

Another thing I learned on the last day of 2008 - I spent four hours yesterday with Essley discovering that my parents were right, I do look better as a blond.