$PANIC$

As the bliss from hearing the heartbeat began to wear off and the constant stress of work seems worse than ever, I began to think about April - When that little heartbeat will be inside someone else, with perfect little everything and all I want to do is stay home with that little person. But how? HOW?

I've said it before - I am not a fly by the seat of my pants kind of girl. I need to have a plan. 

When we decided to begin NOT trying NOT to get pregnant, I knew I would need a plan, but also knew I could not figure it ALL out before the baby was here. I did not anticipate it would only take two months of being careless to get baby.

So what's my plan?

I'm currently able to save $300 a month - Since MJC pays the mortgage and student loans, he is lucky if he gets through the month without putting anything on his credit card. In fact, he's had the same effing $2,000 on one card since February. 

The reason I don't want to tell work I am pregnant yet is because I've been there three years, and am at least a year overdue for a promotion. Because of the economy, I understood but certainly expected that promotion would come this April. That was before I knew, I'd be getting different good news in April. But part of my plan is getting that promotion, in order to pay for the baby to be.

I will likely go out on maternity leave in late March - reviews happen in April. Last year, I got mine in August, which will likely be my last month on maternity leave this year. What does that mean for me? No promotion! So, I am desperately working long hours and trying to prove myself so that someone will finally recognize my achievements and hopefully reward me with a promotion BEFORE review period. 

Right now, we can't afford for me to stay home but we also can't afford childcare (In order to pay for it, I'd have to eliminate savings and hope I could find someone for $300 a month or less). According to my research, full time accredited daycare is a minimum of $500 a month, and that is IF we can get into the waiting lists that are sometimes over a year long. 

A nanny costs a minimum of $40,000 annually. Until a few years ago, that's what both MJC and I made, so how on earth would we be able to afford to bring someone else on staff?

In addition to childcare, we need to save $4,000 to fix the chimney, we knew was broken when we bought the house, but thought we'd have a while to fix,  $2,000 (at least) in hospital expenses as my insurance will pay for 80% of my hospitalization, $2,000 for blood cord banking, $300 for a 3-D ultra sound, enough money to cover my maternity leave (where my salary will be paid at 80%), and then all the other baby accouterments. 

Everyone keeps telling me it will all work out, but how? According to my working it out, I think I need to save about $55,000 for the first year. Saving $300/ a month, I should be able to save that sum in 183 months or 15 years.