What I Just Made (a project for the concussed)

When I first moved out of my parents house the only two pieces of furniture I had were the headboard-less queen bed my parents bought me when I was 15 and my Grandmother Brown's beautiful cherry dresser. I moved into a tiny studio in Pacific Heights where nothing else would have fit if I'd wanted it to. 

My move to Los Angeles created a terrific problem. All of the sudden for the same amount I'd been paying for my coffin-sized SF studio, I was able to afford (what I considered at the time to be) an immense one bedroom apartment with a dining room. 

Anticipating my new spacial freedom, I purchased a sofa. This couch is what we now call the kidney bean couch. MJC hates it because it's not good for watching TV on (I have no idea why). I love it because when I bought it in 2003 it was the most I'd ever spent on any one thing and I still think it is beautiful. I bought the kidney bean couch from a gay couple who were moving to Chicago. They'd purchased the couch only a couple of years before. It came complete with custom white canvas slipcovers for $400.

When I got down to LA, my couch was displayed proudly in my living room. I also acquired an antique iron and glass coffee table from the Chanteuse, which was the only surface other than the floor on which I could eat.

I decided I needed a dining room table. 

Because I had no extra money at the end of each month to save, I asked my family for Crate & Barrel gift cards. I slowly chipped away, $25 at a time, at my goal of buying my own table.

Then MJC and I decided to move in together. Turns out, he had a table, so I changed my goal and decided to buy us a bed for us. MJC kept saying it was the first thing WE bought together, only WE did not use any of HIS money. We went to Crate & Barrel and picked out a bed we thought would be a timeless classic. It was an Asian-inspired, simple 'espresso' black bed frame with a headboard composed of horizontal boards. I think we both thought it would go with everything always.

Now I realize it goes with nothing and I detest it.  This means, from the second I decided I hated it, I could not bear to look at it anymore. So, first things first, I covered it with a quilt. Even in my concussed state, I knew this looked like crap.

Then I got the idea to make an upholstered headboard. I am not a huge fan of following directions, so I skimmed some instructions online and then headed to JoAnn's to get the supplies I needed. 

The basic plan was simple - buy cotton or polyester batting, a glue gun, a staple gun and the fabric you want. 

Of course when I got home yesterday, I wanted to do it RIGHT AWAY, but MJC said we had to wait until I was home alone so I would have something to do.  We got all the supplies yesterday, but then I glanced at another site that said I should use both batting and foam. I went to Michael's in Glendale, but they did not have the right size so then I winded around Glendale having no idea where I was in effort to find JoAnn's fabric. I was lost for over an hour and I almost cried. 

Then I got to JoAnn's (where they were MUCH nicer than the JoAnn's in Pasadena) and was counseled against buying the foam. When I realized it would have been over $100 I did not even need the counsel. I went home to get started. That whole detour took 2 1/2 hours. Now I was a very grumpy crafter. First, I removed the quilt from the headboard and took the mattress off the bed. 

Then, I really got started. 

1) Why did I get a glue gun?

2) Okay, fold the batting in half and cut it to cover the headboard with a little overlap.

3) Do that again so it is 4 bats thick. Yep that seems good. 

4) Pull the batting around the existing Asian inspired headboard and tape to secure it.

5) How the fuck do you load this staple gun?

6) Staple the back of the batting to the bed, realizing because of the width of these staples, this is likely the moment where there is no turning back.

7) Drape the fabric over the headboard and...eeeekkk!..trim around it so you don't have so much excess. 

8) Secure the fabric over the batting using arbitrary and copious staples. 

9) Realize you have enough left over fabric to do the foot board too (is that what you call it?)

10) Why did I get a glue gun?

11) Sit down to check email because I am now exhausted.

 TADA!