31 Birthdays

This morning as I was blinking in between sleep and awake I was trying to remember all of my birthdays. If I count backwards from this one I can remember about 3 in a row before they get hazy. If I count from the beginning I am using mostly "memories" that have been repeated to me.
Because I adore lists and they seem to calm me - here is my attempt.

August 22, 1977 - Is this really a birthday? I mean it is the day of birth, but all other birthdays celebrate the anniversary of this date. I had not really done much yet.
My mom was a little younger than I am now. I was her first baby. I am not sure if she had trouble getting pregnant with me...yes I think so because she had been on the pill for a chunk of time before she began trying and these were super strong 1970s birth control.
In any event, I was successfully conceived.

My mom was not the sort of mom who took a lot of pictures of herself pregnant. I am not sure if I have seen any in fact. She reports never being sick or tired or having any complications other than the fact that I was 11 days late and her feet were so swollen that she had to wear my dad's leather sandals because they were the only shoes that fit.

Mom was doing dishes at our kitchen sink on Florence Place when her water broke. She paged my dad and reportedly, he ignored it until one of his friends said - "Jon, isn't your wife about due? You might want to answer that."

I was perfectly healthy but breach so mom had to have an emergency c-section. She lost a lot of blood and required a transfusion. Don't worry - she ended up fine.

I was born on a Monday - "Monday's child is fair of face". Interestingly, MJC was born on a Thursday, "Thursday's child has far to go" - what does this mean? That he will travel a lot or strive for personal development?

August 22, 1978 - absolutely no memory of events nor stories about this birthday. Peter was not around yet so I imagine mom and dad may have gotten a cake from Philip's Bakery- probably a fruit basket because that is what dad likes. MJC still not born yet.

August 22, 1979 - 2nd birthday - is this the one where we had the duck? No...I think that was three.

August 22, 1980 - 3rd birthday - Mom and dad ordered a duck to perform when I requested a clown. I guess no clowns were available, which has always seemed odd to me. I spent the party trying to keep my distance from him, the 6 foot tall humorless man in a bright yellow duck costume. At the end of the party he asked if he could use our bathroom to change into his next costume. Mom asked what and he said Superman - She always repeats her joke "Wouldn't you prefer a phone booth?" the guy did not laugh.

The next morning I woke up and reportedly marched into mom and dad's bed and said "As long as I live I want you to promise me I will never see another duck in this house again."

You wont be surprised to learn I've always been accused of having a flair for the dramatic.

August 22nd, 1982 - 5th birthday - Pete here for the first time - don't remember much.

For as long as I can remember, my birthday was always bittersweet because if mom tried to organize a birthday, friends were always out of town for the last week before school started.
It was usually a sparse group that could make it. My birthday always means the end of summer and I still feel a little somber when I know it's almost here - not because I am getting older -but because the summer is on it's way out.

August 22nd, 1987 - 10th birthday - Jenna Umino, Susan Harlan, Liz Bauer, Amy Johnson, Erin Post and I all played dress up and painted nails at our sleep over. There was a lot of talk about putting people's hands in warm water or their underpants in the freezer but I think we all fell asleep too early to create any pre-teen havoc. In the morning Liz put make-up on everyone and we dressed up like Madonna and waved at cars on 22nd street- the passers by probably thought we were young whores - I can't imagine why I thought it was so cool.

August 22nd, 1988 - 11th birthday- I think this is the one where we went to Beni Hana in Old Sacramento and Erin Post said she was so full she might blow chunks. Dad still loves this.

August 22, 1993 - 16th birthday - Surprise party at the Sacramento Club. I thought I saw Jason's green rabbit in the parking lot on the way in but I was still surprised. I felt really special and loved. It was my first surprise party ever.

August 22, 1998 - 21st birthday - This was just before my senior year of college. I was living in Santa Cruz with SDH and about 10 other people, taking art classes at UCSC and trying to figure out what to do next. I turned 21 and for some reason SDH was out of town - I think driving his little sister back east to college. So I spent the day biking around Santa Cruz going in and out of different water front bars with Rachel & Mike. Mike had a boom box taped onto the front of his bike and I think a James Brown cassette was stuck in there - pretty fun. We got home in time for SDH's parents to take me to dinner. I love them.

August 22, 1999 - 22nd birthday- I think Joe took me to the wine country to go wine tasting and got me Casablanca lilies - I was staying with him for the weekend in Walnut Creek, CA just before we took a three month trip to Europe.

August 22, 2000 - 23rd birthday - I was living in SF in a house in the Presidio. I celebrated with Michelle, Kelly, Abby & Tom (all roommates). At the time, I did not particularly love any of them and I knew we would not stay friends for long. I also knew they did not love me. I had this sad feeling looking through the pictures that we looked so happy but I knew it was kind of fake. Aaron, who I was dating at the time was on a surf trip in Indonesia.

August 22, 2002 - 24th birthday. I was dating Santi long distance. He was in LA, I was in SF. Beth took me out to a bar in the Fillmore and we ate a cupcake at the bar. Then I went and checked my mail on the way to dinner and Santi had bought me a ticket to Las Vegas - I think it was my first time there. We flew the next day and I don't remember much about it.

August 22, 2003 - 25th birthday - This was my first birthday in LA. I had moved down on Mother's day weekend and broken up with Santi just a few weeks after I moved. Being in the same city made me confident he was NOT the one.

I reconnected with Michelle from college, had some new friends from work and my grandmother Dee - those were all the people I knew.

I was dating this guy Mark, but we had been dating only about a month and I knew he was not someone I should stick with. He was kind of a deadbeat - probably still is.

August 22, 2004 - 26th birthday - This was just before I met MJC- I was kind of a mess. Michelle, my friend Katie from SF, Desiree from work, and I can't remember who else all went out to Primativo in Venice for tapas. Katie was staying with me and I think she thought I was a mess. She gave me a copy of Siddhartha along with a judgemental/charitable piece of advice which indicated she thought I needed to find myself.

August 22, 2005 - 27th birthday -This was my first birthday with MJC. His grandfather died suddenly right before and I was a selfish brat about it. Neither of us remember much about it but I think he took me out to dinner at Via Venetto in Santa Monica. Maybe. A month later we moved in together. No no. MJC just remembered we had dinner at Primativo again this year with my parents and prior too, we had a cocktail with Michelle. MJC remembers thinking how stupid she looked in a full safari get up. I was tipsy after one cocktail and I was embarrassed in front of my parents so I was very quiet at dinner. Mom gave me Jeanette's engagement ring as a gift. I got it stuck on my finger until the next afternoon.

August 22, 2006- 28th birthday- This was just after we got engaged - we went to San Genaro - our favorite Italian place in our old neighborhood - with a bunch of people. Joe was there with his girlfriend. Judy who introduced us, flaked out, that was the last time we spoke to her. Michelle made an appearance and I can't remember who else was there - I am pretty sure Liz. This was the beginning of the end of my friendship with Michelle.

August 22, 2007 - 29th birthday - This was the biggest birthday to date. We had a birthday party with a group of friends at Luna Park in LA, then we flew to Sacramento and celebrated my actual birthday with my family. That night we were in San Francisco with a group of friends at a Tapas place I used to love in the Mission - in fact, I think I did that a few years in a row? Hmm.
Then we flew to Austin to see my BFF- Catherine. That was so much fun! It was like a birthday tour. Very rockstar.

August 22, 2008- 30th birthday - BEST BIRTHDAY EVER! MJC was afraid my 30th would be eclipsed by the wedding a week later so we went out to dinner at Il Cielo in Beverly Hills - It was fancy and pretty and romantic. That day, the snarky assistant tried her best to ruin my day but we had a huge lunch out with friends from work and I got flowers and chocolate covered strawberries and all sorts of gifts all day long - I felt so loved!

Then I thought we were having a BBQ later that weekend- it was also my bachlorette weekend. Liz "ruined" the surprise because MJC made her "take one for the team" and so as long as I knew about it, I decided to invite a bunch more friends. This presented a problem because I was not actually having a BBQ on Sunday, I was having a surprise birthday dinner on Friday.

I had no idea. I thought Catherine and MJC and I were going to have dinner but when we got to the restaurant, Cobras & Matadors in Hollywood - there were Liz & Tim, Tracy & Jake, and Shannon and Stephanie waiting for us. MJC had everyone go around the table and give me a bottle of wine and tell a story about me. It was perfect. We left for my bachelorette party that night or the next- I don't remember. Liz got me a camera and I cried because I was so touched.

August 22, 2008 - 31st birthday. I was at work all day, which was great because I felt surrounded by friends. I had a hair cut on Thursday night, so I got lots of compliments on my new look all day. Jeans got in early and decorated my desk. I had balloons and confetti everywhere. We ordered lunch with a group of people and then about 15 people had yummy cupcakes at 3 pm. Sara got me a Marc by Marc wallet, like last year. I love both.
I was exhausted in the afternoon but MJC had planned for us to go to dinner with two couples from work and Liz & Tim. Trace & Jake were out of town.

We had a great time. Yesterday, MJC took me to see a psychic,Judy Hevenly, which I should certainly write more about later - what a neat thing to do.

Birthdays are big for me - they have always felt important. I have heard about people forgetting their birthdays and I think it's insane. I like a birthday week, myself. My birthday, more than New Years, is a time of reflection- to look at what I have created in the last year, to celebrate the friendships I've kept and made, to tell everyone else how thankful I am for them.

When I was younger I felt helpless around the time of my birthday like I was at the mercy of the people around me who may forget it all together and then I would have to remind them to love me and care about me, which is weird and desperate. I did not have the friends I do now.

For the last few years I feel like the person I want to be and I have friends around me that make me feel loved before I remind them to. Especially MJC. Everything is easier with him around. Except housework, but how small is that?