Fight On

I woke up today and after a long day, long week... I was dreading the idea of going to a graduation this evening. No matter how much I love the graduate.

On some level, I was wondering -Why on earth did I agree to go? All I want to do is go home and sleep. But I had to because I said I would.

Sarah and I showed up an hour before and milled around the Gallen Center souvenir shop and tried to keep our eyes open.

We sat in the nose bleed seats. I was next to Lizzie's dad and her best friend from college. We could not see or hear a thing. I tried my best to photograph the jumbo-tron and turned around frequently to glare at the screaming children, loud talkers and other generally rude loved ones there to celebrate. You could barely hear the commencement speakers over the din of the crowd.

After two hours and several hundred graduates we texted Lizzie to see what was next. She wanted us to stay for pictures afterward. I had not eaten anything but a rice cake (which Sarah constantly has with her) since 11am and all I wanted to do was go home and spend time with my husband. If it seemed like it did not matter too much to Liz, I would just head home. But the honoree wanted us to stay put so I did as requested. We did not find her for forever after the ceremony, and when we did she was in tears. She missed her mom. I was afraid this might happen, but did not get any clues before hand it would.

Obviously, I cannot and would not want to replace Liz's relationship with her mom, but knowing Liz started business school so confident and eager and lost her mother in the process, I needed to be there. Liz and I are like sisters and as the older one, I have to make sure she is happy and taken care of. It's not a role she ever asked me to take.

I felt awkward at the end- and again not sure if she wanted me to be there.

Liz holds her cards close to her chest. But seeing her in tears, I knew I'd done the right thing to go. Even if she is not thinking about it now, knowing that Sarah and I thought it was important to go must make her realize how much we care.

Liz is confident in ways I am not. She tries things I would never - swimming with dolphins, living in France, traveling to Asia, getting her MBA - she is a seeker and an adventurer.

Sometimes we feel miles apart but I come back to the fact that we look up to each other. I can't imagine going through what she has in the past two years. I get frustrated with her that she always says she's fine or completely drops out of sight for weeks at a time when she is not at all fine. But, I am impressed with her composure and her drive.

Liz makes me realize you can still have depth and not wear your heart on your sleeve.